WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-10-19T05:36:00.000-07:00

Abused

Bruised

Fight

No love

No care

This is what I defined as FAMILY.Everything is just so dramatic..running away from him,trying to protect myself..locked up in the room.And now I've a flooded room.He poured water into my room.He's worst off than a BEAST!Having a bum on my chin,patches of bruises on my arm and an injured back.Who on earth can put up with this?If ya a mother of two and your daughter messages you:"tell your son to behave himself and show some respect before he regrets.",what will your reaction be??Will you first ask what happen to your daughter?or blame her for creating more problems for her?-no doubt a normal and caring mom will respond to the first.But not all will.

Luckily I've friends,I've dear.Some external love and care is always nice.Dear is sick.She's down with a fever and poor her have to sit for her practical exam in such condition..I'm just so worried about her.

Don't worry,I'm always here with you to fight our ways through.I'll take up the responsibility to love and care for you with all I could.
ioveyouimissyouiwannahugyoutightlyinmyarms

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-09-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

I'm living in a world with no justice and fairness.
When I need someone to talk to in this fucking house,all I see is four walls and no one else.All I hear when she's back is nagging,nagging and nagging.When on earth will my life changed?Why must I always be the one in wrong?Why must I always be the one bearing the consequences?I see no justice.Is she blinded?Or is he dead?Why must I be the one doing all this for you guys when I don't see the point and you'll never appreciate?When will this bloody useless bum here get his mind right?When will he grow to realise that he's far to immature?All he knows is to play,eat and sleep.Perhaps at times study.But that's not the reason not to do a single shit and just create trouble.All she knows is to complain to others,scold us,and threaten me.Who on this fucking world give a damn about u?I do.But you've never changed.I'm really tired.I've been saying this for years.I've been bearing the pain all by myself.Who ever realises it?You see no point living in this fucking world,doing all these for this fucking family,then why bother?Just leave.After all,I will never find back the happiness and warmth I used to have from this family.Love.Care.Concern.Never will I find it back again.NEVER.

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-09-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

*missing ya*

I miss my grandpa so much now.Though he'd left us for 3years,but the sorrow and regret in me will always flash across my mind when I do or see something that will remind me of him.I hate myself!

I'm missing someone(*baobei) too.She'd gone to airport to ton and mug..All the best for your paper tomorrow.Can't talk to her tonight,can't msg her much,otherwise her hp batt will be flat and that will be worst.I MISS YOU!Be back soon..A night might be short,but a night without u is like living in a decade waiting for your arrival.-hugz-

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-09-17T03:17:00.000-07:00

*m|sS!nG yA l0Ts

Kinda in the "last-paper" mode..But I promise myself I'm gonna put in my very best effort for this one month till my A's arrival.You gonna help me yah?!I feel I'm so slack.I feel I didn't put in enough effort for my prelim and thus an abhorrent result gonna show.Hate that!!

Anyway,someone(*baobei)..is going to airport to study..She's gone.Gosh,she's tonning there tonight with her frenz..so won't be online till tomorrow night.A night to me seems so long so long,as if I'd to wait for a decade before I can chat with you again.Quick come back okay..I'm missing ya..All the best for your last paper..:)
I'm gonna study tonight.

Wondering if I should go tanning tomorrow?Anyone wanna join me?Haha..I'm becoming a "bai-zhan-ji".Hiding yourself in the library really can bleach you!!So people outta..mug in the sun if you wanna retain your skin colour..I rather be a red lobster than a "bai-zhan-ji".No program over the weekend.Should be staying at home to mug my stupid SEXUAL REPRODUCTION for biology.

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-09-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

sTatS sUx to tH3 c0|2e

Once again...I'm gonna say I'LL FAIL MY MATHS!!Speechless..when one is down in luck,it can really be that bad..Never has succeeded..Pinning any hope for the future?have to reconsider about it.Focus on what I can for now..But I'm not asking for too much.As least I know I've peeps outta who keep encouraging me not to give up..Really have to thank them..and for YOUR suppport!=)

*missing ya*

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-09-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

chEm sUx to tH3 c0|2e. . .

Chemistry paper sucks...Mind is totally blank.Can't complete..But even if I've the time,wonder if I can make it.I hate myself.I'm so stupid.Gonna mug the whole of tonight.Had 5 and a half hr of sleep from 130 to 7pm.Sufficient to keep me up for tonight. :)
No time to blog..gonna mug..
-peace out-

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-09-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-09-13T04:10:00.000-07:00

Wh@t a sT|2eSsFuL d@Y. . .

Having my chem paper 3 tomorrow and I've yet to pick up that exam mood..Gosh!What's wrong with me...?was forcing myself to study the whole day in the school library..was so reluctant to creep out of bed..thus only get to school at 1030.But luckily I've no paper today.Ger they all are already for post-prelims programmes..Just because we're one group of "broker",thus we need to plan and save money when the day has come.haha...

Everyone outta...visit this web..Take a look at this disgusting guy..OMG..he has thrown our Singaporean 'face' can..hurr.. :)
http://stevenlim.net

WhaT w|LL u dO tod@Y, tHat w|LL matt3R t0mOrrOw??

2004-09-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

JuZ @noTh3r b0r|nG d@y...

Today is just another day.
Was kinda bored..rotting at the platform at jurong east while waiting for someone..then we crapz and crapz for an hr..finally her arrival.Then we went down town to study..TOWN-STUDY..yupz..did just abit of studying but more of reading comics.Then we went to changi airport to send her off.
Today is just another day.
*but feeling kinda.........*

j0u|2n3y tO mY L|fE . . .

2004-09-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

Looking into the mirror,
searching deep inside the soul,
where has she been?
She'd lost her true self,
She could no longer face the reality.
It's far too deep to search for her happiness.
The naive,optimistic,faithful,innocent girl has became a ruthless,pessimistic,unfaithful and corrupted girl.
She wished to be who she was.
But she could no longer do so.
She seems to live in such an alienated planet such that she has nowhere to hide herself.
THis place is far too complicated for her to stay on.
She's tired of holding on to everything.
Her life seems to revolve around only family and friends.
But now she sees no point in having them.

She wished to live in her own world,
a world where she can search for her happiness and lead a simple life.
She used to be in a paradise,
but that lasted her only for a short while.
When she's sad,
her dad would tickle her,
when she cries,
her mum would pacify her.
When she's lonely,
her little friends would be awaiting out there to play with her.
But as she grows..
one by one,
there they leave.
Leaving her alone,
sitting at the corner of the room,
day by day,
hoping that miracles might happen,
she might be awaken from all these nightmares.

It'd been long ever since she sees the beam of light.
She'd been living with fear in this dark and smooky world.
She'd yet to be rescued from this sinful world.
She'd kept so much in her but no one ever realises it.
She wanna be freed from this world.
She's not asking for much isn't it?
All she needs is just one person.
Someone who can hold the promises made,
someone who can be trusted without fail,
someone who can lend a shoulder to cry and confide in,
someone who will never leave her till the day she dies.
But she knows,
there's no such person existing.
Perhaps she's asking far too much.